only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Thursday, December 18, 2014

5 Arguments For Why You Should Delete Tinder

I’ll admit it. I’m guilty of having a Tinder account at one point in my life. After being out of the “dating-circuit” for a while because I had been dating someone I turned to Tinder after said relationship ended. What I found was a world of confused humans; people cramming their lives into 140 characters, people that love selfies, and a ton of people that I have definitely NEVER seen on the street. Needless to say, after some time swiping left, I came to these realizations.

The beauty of human interaction. People spend more time enjoying technology together than they do each others company. I can’t begin to tell you how many tables I have served where the couple is both on their phones, the WHOLE date. It’s like, are you texting each other? Or just taking photos of that piece of chicken like you’ve never seen one before? Maybe their just SnapChatting each other photos of themselves. This new age addiction to technology is not only disgusting but it is ruining human interaction as we know it. Whatever happened to conversations discussing ideas, what you want to accomplish in life, your hopes and dreams for the future? Maybe I’m old fashioned and stuck in my ways, but I prefer to have a mutual like for someone before we take each other to bed. I’m not saying that this can’t happen in a single night, but what’s the point of pre-planning it on an application?

Dating isn’t an application. In life, you can’t choose who you’re going to be with by simply swiping right or left. You can’t just GPS where your ideal partner, who you have never met is, and Uber it to them. I feel like too many people nowadays are caught up in the prospect of virtual love. Thing’s like being “Facebook Official” or PDA on social networks is disgusting to me. Not everyone needs to know about what you ate for dinner and how much you are in love with whoever it is you’re seeing nowadays. Those things are private, they should remain that way. At the end of the day, what I am trying to say is, you wouldn’t date your cell phone….act accordingly.

You shouldn’t date someone based solely on their looks. Although looks do have a large part in choosing who you’re going to be with, they aren’t everything. There’s no thrill in waking up next to a beautiful girl when you can’t stand a single thing that comes out of her mouth. “The prettiest people do the ugliest things, on the road to riches and diamond rings.” I am pretty sure that quote summarizes everything.

Love has to happen on it's own. When something so delicate is forced, it doesn't turn out right. Spontaneity, surprises, dedication, and mutual respect are what keep people together. Just because you both like Sunday brunch and vacationing in Hawaii doesn’t mean that you are meant to be. Too many people are selfish nowadays and don’t want to spend the time to commit to a relationship when they would rather be spending it on themselves. What I am trying to say love isn’t a convenience, it’s supposed to mean something. Would you really swipe right or left on something that meant the world to you?

This relationship isn’t about you, it’s about US. With applications like Tinder or OKCupid where who you “match” up with is how you determine who you are going to try to go on a date with. The only problem with this is that people match with each other according to a “chemistry-test”, a profile picture, or a brief description of themselves. Personally, I feel like there are an infinite amount of things you can learn about a person so there is no way that you could possibly ever put them all down into a summary in your profile. There’s also no way that you and another person are EVER going to have every single thing in the world in common, so trying to make lists and graphs online comparing some similarities is pointless. Online dating site match.com says that 1 in 5 of it’s relationships are a success! Then how come the divorce rate in America is around 50%? Initially, comparing your similarities and being happy with them may work, but in the long run, unless you really get to know the person, accept them for who they are, and put in the necessary work to make the relationship work, it’s probably not going to workout.

“You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

“Epicirus”

Since coming to these realizations I have deleted all dating apps and sincerely vow to never use them again. Although it is possible to meet someone virtually, I know that building a real-life relationship will be much more meaningful and longer-lasting eternally. So put down your phone, I’ll see ya out there.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

6 Reasons Everyone Should Work In A Restaurant At Least Once

Everyone goes out to eat, have a beer, or socialize. But not everyone that goes out has worked within the confines of a restaurant and truly experienced what it's like to deal with other people. From indecisiveness, stupidity, neediness, and vulgar behavior the restaurant industry is a show room floor for people's flaws. Here are the 7 reasons that everyone should work in a restaurant or service job at least once in their life.

Self-Respect: Self-respect is one of the cornerstones of life, but it is also key to not letting the service industry get you down. From the people that talk down to you on an every day basis to your boss that asks unreasonable and sometimes questionable tasks of you, you learn that being able to look past all of this and focus on the things you have going for you makes you a stronger individual. You also come to terms with the fact that you shouldn't bother listening to the opinions of some people, the only person that truly knows who you are is yourself.

Tipping: For a good server, a bad tip is like a kick in the dick. Or pussy, the former just rhymed. People who ask their server for a new type of dipping sauce or an extra napkin every-time their server is at the table, and then don't tip, deserve to be publicly shamed. If the service is good, the server deserves to be reciprocated with some sort of grateful acknowledgment. I'll do laps around the restaurant for you as long as you reward me like your favorite dog. Working at a restaurant you realize that people who do a good job deserve to be rewarded for their services; when your friend buy you a beer, you get the next round. Same with service, your bar-tender makes you a drink, you tip him.

Patience: If you have worked in a restaurant before you would definitely concur that an inpatient guest is the worst. I can't recall how many times I have had people nag me about how much longer their well-done, no tomato, extra pickle, lettuce on the side, gluten-free bun, substitute a salad for the fries with lite dressing is going to take 5 minutes after they ordered it. Sometimes I feel like guests think that we take the order slip, type in the order, put it in the microwave from back to the future and poof! Food's ready. Hate to break your heart, but the angry cook in the back of the house has to actually prepare your meal, so please, give us a couple minutes to appease you. Also, as much as we love to talk to you and know about your dog's birthday party, on a Friday night when the restaurant is packed and we have 6 tables, when we come up to you, we expect you to be ready to order.

Dedication: You must have to be very dedicated to what you believe is your actual plan in life while you are working in the service industry. Even if you plan on being a bar-tender or a chef it takes a lot of focus on what you want your end goal to be to succeed in this industry. Even Zen Monks, spend part of their day servicing others because it teaches them humility, how to not be selfish, and how helping others can not only improve their day but also yours. Dedication in life is crucial to prolonged success for without unwavering dedication to your goals you cannot achieve what you set out to do.

Manners: As a server you learn to appreciate people that have manners, those are the people you take care of and make your priority because they treat you like a human being and not a hamburger that wasn't cooked long enough. On the flip side, you also learn to have manners, if you didn't already have any, while working in a restaurant or bar. You come to realize that the more courteous and pleasing you are to those around you the more you will be treated the same.

Appreciation: After working in a restaurant you begin to appreciate things; being off work before midnight, not being afraid to talk to strangers in any situation, being treated like a human being, knowing where to get the cheapest drinks, etc. An appreciation of the small things in life will not only help you determine what you need to do to get to a place where you are content with your surroundings but also provide you with a deeper understanding of who you are as a person and and what you can do to improve yourself. You learn to appreciate yourself and those who are positive influences in your life much more.

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”

Lao Tzu, “Tao Te Ching”

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

4 Things You Have To Establish Before You Commit To Someone

There are many reasons so many relationships in America fail: miscommunication, lack of trust, egotistical behavior, cheating, lying, neglect and lack of respect for your significant other are just a handful.

Through my own personal experiences and mistakes in the world of dating, I have gathered the facts and come to a conclusion or two.

These are four of the cornerstones that I feel you must utilize to have a healthy relationship:

Trust

If you can’t trust your girlfriend or boyfriend to go to the bars with his or her friends when you’re stuck at work, then you shouldn’t be dating this person. Relationships are built on trust, and as soon as it’s gone, so is the love.

Sure, everyone has fears and concerns about his or her significant other cheating, but to call your boyfriend or girlfriend out on it before it ever happens just makes you look jealous and insecure.

There’s no need to act jealous if your partner is talking to someone at a party. In the long run, if your partner is cheating on you, then he or she is, in fact, the one who is f*cking up, not you.

Patience

You need to take the time to build an emotional bond with someone if you want your partnership to pan out. There have been too many times that I have woken up next to a girl I only had a physical, not emotional, connection to.

Not only is it more attractive to have something more to offer than just sex, it is also more enlightening, both spiritually and mentally.

No one’s perfect, and although we all have our dream lover conceptualized in our heads, life is probably never actually going to be that way. We have to accept each other’s faults, share our concerns with one another, work through problems together and love each other unconditionally in order to make it work.

Inner Happiness

You should be content with where you are in your life and happy with yourself before committing to anyone. Although it may sound selfish to be content with who you are before you add someone else to the mix, it’s actually the reverse.

Too many people nowadays expect to be happy in a relationship when they aren’t even happy with themselves. In the long run, a miserable person’s inner struggle will destroy a relationship, no matter how good he or she is at hiding it.

Respect

Aretha Franklin had it right when she said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.” Mutual respect in a relationship is essential because there’s absolutely no reason you should be with someone who doesn’t view you as an equal.

From presents and surprises to introducing each other to your families, the respect for one another should be on the same level. If she’s in trouble, you are too, and you need to figure a way out of it together.

There are certainly a lot more factors that go into making a relationship work, and there is definitely much more I still have to learn, myself, but if you make sure the above four things are locked down, you’re off to a great start in your new relationship.

6 Reasons Everyone Should Work In A Restaurant At Least Once

6 Reasons Everyone Should Work In A Restaurant At Least Once

Lao Tzu, “Tao Te Ching”

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

8 Things We Could All Learn From 50 Cent

“8 Things We Could All Learn From 50 Cent”

There aren’t too many people that can say that they have been shot 9 times then rap to tell the tale. Although not very many of us can relate to the circumstances and events Curtis Jackson had to live through, we can all definitely learn something from his business savvy, creativity, intellect, and outlook on life.

1. Confidence – All you need to do is watch the 50 Cent interview on Chelsea Lately from a couple years ago to be able to tell how confident he is. To be able to approach any situation like you own it and are the one in charge takes a lot of confidence. From the way you shake someones hand, to the conversation you offer, your exuberance of confidence will open new doors from improvement. You have to believe in yourself or no one else will, there are too many people that are comfortable with themselves until they wake up, you have to be confident with yourself in the real world.

2. Personality – I don’t know a single person like Curtis Jackson, I bet you don’t either. His personality has not only helped him stand out from the masses, it has progressed his career and made his persona exponentially larger than life. The way that you carry yourself has a lot to do with the opportunities that are presented before us. As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is one of the main components to leading a successful and productive life.

3. Stability – Unbeknownst to most, 50 Cent does not drink or smoke. This shows extremely large stability in a person, especially one with millions of dollars that can do whatever he wants. The fact that he hasn’t squandered his fortune, like many of his counterparts, also goes to show that he is steady in his thoughts, decisions, and actions. Being able to take a step back, assess the situation, and assert what the next step should be gives you a one up on the competition.

4. Productivity – Although he could just kick back and chill somewhere, Curtis keeps producing. Whether it be music, electronics, beverages, or clothing, you can tell that work is being done. Lots of people spend time sitting around expecting something to happen for them. Albeit, life is constant, it’s not gonna stop for you, so don’t ever stop for it. When you keep working hard at it, the progress will show.

5. Discipline – Creating music, writing something new, keeping your body in shape, learning how to act, and starting your own companies all require an immense amount of discipline. 50 Cent thrives at all of these which is why he has had such an abundance of success. If you are able to keep your mind in check and do what you said you would do over the course of every day you would be surprised with the outcome. It takes a lot of strength to be disciplined, but like JFK said, “Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men”.

6. Organization – Running multiple businesses should be a show of organization as it is, but running them efficiently is a whole different story. From SMS Audio to SK Energy to VitaminWater everything 50 Cent has his hands on is visibly created through a very well thought out process. When your thoughts and ideas are organized they are going to be much more effective and come across in a clearer way, which in the long run creates more outlets and revenue streams to jump into.

7. Professionalism – If you watch any of the interviews Mr. Jackson has given at corporate events or shows, you’ll notice that he is a completely different person than he might come across as in his music. He is extremely well-versed, exuberant, and passionate about the product he is putting on the market place. You can tell that what he is trying to offer is something that he loves himself, sure he’s making money off it, but he’s broadening the experience of your life while he’s doing it.

8. Independence – After 50 Cent got shot, there wasn’t a single record company that was even willing to work with him. Instead of giving up he flooded the streets with mix-tapes and made a name for himself through his own hustle. Which in return garnered the attention of 50 Cent and Dr. Dre and eternally got him a record deal. In recent years, since his record company refused to give him the proper promotion and distribution he has once again went independent releasing music videos with every song and doing all of his own promotion. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

If he can’t do it, homey, it can’t be done.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

3 Steps To A Perfect Day

Beach Day At Big Beach On Maui

You know the kind of day I am talking about. The kind where you wake up and the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing just right, and you woke up to your favorite song on the alarm clock. Maybe you’re next to a special someone or you just had the night of your life but everything is falling into place. Breakfast isn’t rushed, you get a workout in, your mentally prepared for work, and there is an overall sense of tranquility flowing through your body. Although hardly everyday will ever pan out like this, here are 3 steps that might bring you that much closer to having a perfect day, everyday.

1. Wake up happy. This is a big one because it sets the mood and tempo for the day. It’s also probably the hardest one to do, considering we all have presentations, jobs, and events that we sometimes dread attending scheduled throughout our days. We have to come to realize that no matter what we are probably going to have to end up doing whatever it is that we are not looking forward to it. So why not be positive? When you approach unwelcoming situations with a positive attitude, positive outcomes tend to occur. Even if you fail, you will get a chance to try again. Wake up with a smile on your face, be excited to be here, appreciate what you have and you will come to find out that you never know what good fortune might come your way.

2. Don’t rush yourself. It’s better to be completely ready and 2 minutes late than a blubbering mess right on time. So slow down. Take it easy. Breathe. The world’s not going to end if your a minute late to the meeting. If you have something of substance to offer it will show. I’m not saying be late all the time by any-means, but I am saying that moving efficiently is much more productive than just moving quickly. Just like in the perfect day scenario, things will fall into place if you just give them time. Yes, sometimes you have to move quickly to get something done, but don’t compromise the integrity of whatever it is by rushing it. In the words of Stifler, “Relax, take it slow, and let the good times roll”.

3. Be productive. Don’t just sit around doing nothing all day long. I am going to admit that I have spent lots of time doing absolutely nothing and it definitely just leaves you stuck feeling empty inside. Are you really gaining anything from scrolling down that Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/tumblr feed? No. Why not read a book? Learn a new recipe? or paint something instead. As humans we need to stay productive to progress ourselves and one way of doing that is by producing something. Not only does creating something with your mind and imagination give you something to do but, it is also something you can show off to your friends on all of those media platforms.

Although everyone's idea of a perfect day is going to be different most humans would all be more fulfilled if they were happy, productive, and not rushed. Live happy, be free.

Sunset Behind Tree In Shoreline, WA

5 Productive Things To Do With Yourself After A Breakup

We have all been there, unless you're fucking crazy. You break up with your significant other and find yourself in bed looking at their Facebook, silently crying, while stuffing your face with ice cream. It’s always difficult losing someone you thought was your everything then finding out they weren’t. After my last break-up I decided that instead of sulking around I was going to get out there and really get after it.

I realize that it is hard to let go of something that you become familiar with. It’s like breaking a bad habit at the drop of the dime. But what we have to come to realize is that we came into this world as individuals. Essentially, we came into this world alone, so any familiarities we have grown accustomed to are not necessarily essential to our overall well-being. What I mean by this is that at birth we were completely healthy and happy without any of the things that we might long for if we lose them in our adult lives.

It is selfish for us to think that we can be with someone else when we are not at peace with ourselves. When you are in a relationship you should be able to put your trust into the other person while holding onto theirs. It’s reciprocal. When it stops being so, it’s time to go. Here are some things I did when I turned to run the other way.

1. Go to the gym. Aesthetics. When you look good you feel good. Channel all the frustration and anger you had from that failed relationship and take it out on the weights, elliptical, yoga mat, etc. Whatever it is you do for exercise, go to the gym, and GO HARD! If you’re actually putting enough effort in you will see results in no time. Your visual appeal is definitely one of the best ways to get positive attention from whoever it is you seek it from. It’s also a lot easier to get over the past when someone you want to fuck is checking you out. Now you see, reciprocation.

2. Don’t dwell on the past, focus on the now. So what you're single? That’s supposed to be fun right? It is. Think about all the interesting things, topics, ideas, and conversations you can have with all those beautiful people out there without getting into an argument at the end of the night about some nonsense. If you strive to be happy in the future, you have to be happy in the now. You must find something in your life that you are happy for and appreciate right now. Then build on that happiness. When you consciously think about what happened and then make a conscious decision to move on with your life and be happy with who you are. Others will always want to be around someone who is confident in themselves.

3. Focus on who you want to be. You should honestly be happy that you are now single. Think about how much extra time you have to work on yourself. This might sound a little selfish, but your 20’s are definitely a time to establish yourself and your career. All the time you spent in bed, at the park talking about nonsense, going to parties, can now be used to improve your own life. Utilize the extra time to further yourself as a human. When you work hard, you reap the benefits.

4. Write your thoughts and ideas down. After a difficult break up it might be hard carrying all of those draining emotions around. Which is why I write mine down. Putting my thoughts on paper has always helped me come to terms with what has happened and move on from it. Almost like a hard drive for my thoughts. It’s almost as if when I turn to the next page of my journal I am metaphorically turning a page in my book of life. Writing helps me reflect, learn, and grow as a person.

5. Talk to as many people as you can. Talking to people works because it makes your mind realize how many other fish there are in the sea. When I became single again I would literally say what’s up or hi to random people, mostly girls. It also helped that I had started two new jobs and there was a ton of people to meet. Making new friends and building new relationships helps you come to terms with the fact that one day you will build another healthy relationship with a lover.

So get out there, and get it. Look at you! You deserve it.